you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
