i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
