My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My vagina just recognized that song.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
