on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize