I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
