i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I need water and some morals
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize