You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
