youre lurking in front of me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
