Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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