youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
