Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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