there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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