apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
