dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
