Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize