Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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