the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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