Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
