Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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