Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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