Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
