you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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