Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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