Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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