Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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