It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
