Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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