Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
