By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize