I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize