Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
