It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
