I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
