no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
