Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
