No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
