I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
