I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
