you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
