Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize