Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So many bounce houses so little time
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
