Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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