P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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