Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
