Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
