i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
this will be a night to untag.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
