do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm too high and old for this...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
