this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize