How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He felt like a one man threesome
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
