I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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