Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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