u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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