oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
