Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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