I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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