Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
