they need to just BURY HIM!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
