smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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