we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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