She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
