apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
