the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
