i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
