I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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