remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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