Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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