I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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