I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
