After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
