i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
