I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
