I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
