No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
